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Oct 02, 2020
Pumpkins Galore, (c) 2020 Mary Planding, All rights reserved.
Every October I can't help but smile. It's my favorite month and my favorite time of year — fall. I love the smell of falling leaves. I love their beautiful colors. I love how the wind makes the leaves fly around and the sound they make as they land on the sidewalk. Growing up on the East Coast, autumn to me, was simply magical. And of course, as a kid, Halloween signaled the start of all the excitement to come during the rest of the year.
Back in those days we couldn't go out and buy a costume, we had to make it. Fortunately my grandmother, with whom we lived, was an amazing seamstress. She loved all holidays, but she especially looked forward to Halloween because she enjoyed dressing up my sister and me in elaborate costumes.
Gram being a staunch Catholic, saints were heavily on the list every year. My sister and I were everything from the Virgin Mary to St. Theresa the Little Flower to Joan of Arc, St Elizabeth, well, you get the idea. Then there were the professions years — teacher, nurse, nun, ballerina, artist (of course -- Papa was instrumental in that one). Forget astronaut, soldier, cowboy, policeman, professor, those weren't for "girls." And of course, the years of Disney and other movie characters -- Peter Pan (only because of Mary Martin) and Wendy, Mary Poppins, Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Dorothy, the Good Witch, the Wicked Witch, Wilma Flintstone and Betty Rubble. One year my sister got to be Dino the Dinosaur (we convinced Gram that Dino was a girl dinosaur).
What I remember most though is getting ready for Halloween with Gram. Choosing pumpkins took hours as we considered shapes, sizes, and colors. Then there was drawing, carving, and sometimes painting them. We decorated the front porch and yard with tombstones, spider webs, skulls, and ghosts. Even picked out spooky music for the record player (yep, only vinyl records back then) for Gram to put on after dinner (prime trick or treating time) and opening the window so the record could be heard on the porch.
It was getting the treats ready to give away that drove us nuts. This was sheer torture to us. Gram was always very generous — we'd go shopping with her to choose the candies to give out (ten different kinds). We'd pick out the paper treat bags (I always liked black cats and bats). Once home, she'd fill up ten bowls and we would each take a bag and go around the table putting one of each candy into our bag. Then we'd put the bag in a tray, and go 'round again until all the bowls were empty. We weren't allowed to have any of the candy — that was for Halloween trick or treaters only. It nearly killed us every time. We'd pick out our favorites only to see them handed out to others. And at 6 years old, that was a very hard thing to do.
We'd have dinner (you never saw kids gobble food down so fast), dress in our costumes, and head out the door with our special treat bags. "Don't go off the block, come home when I ring the bell," said Gram. (She had this brass bell from India that she would ring on the porch to call us home from playing outside. You could hear it for miles!) Up and down we'd go, showing off our costumes, catching up with friends as we went from house to house. Every house would participate, some would be more decorated than others, and every home gave us something. One of my favorite homes was our neighbor who held out an enormous pumpkin filled with pennies. We were each allowed two fistfuls of pennies! We thought we were rich! And finally, the bell would ring, and back home we'd go. Frosty faces, tired, eager to sort through our goodies. Gram always had hot chocolate and cookies ready to warm us up.
Then she'd sit with us as we sorted our candy. I remember my first Halloween being very disappointed that other than the pennies, much of the candy I didn't like. And I noticed that no one gave us as much candy as Gram gave out. I felt it was unfair, and said so. Gram was so wise. She asked me why I thought she gave so much candy away. I didn't know why. I had never thought about it, and said so. She asked me to think about it and to tell her tomorrow.
I went to bed with that question rolling around in my head. The next morning at breakfast, she asked me again and I said I still didn't know. I went to school and of course, we kids began comparing what we got at Halloween since not all of us lived on the same block. It was then that I learned that many of these kids only had one parent and no grandparents. That they had to make up their own costumes, no one did it for them. I noticed how some wore the same pants or skirt to school every day. Still others were thrilled to have gotten any candy at all. I was, quite honestly, stunned because I had never noticed any of this before. It was one of my first lessons in observing people and discovering compassion for them.
At dinner that night, Gram asked me if I'd thought about it any more. Now mind you, my parents, my great aunts, and my sister were all at the table. This was our usual dinner night — my sister and I were always at the center of the table's discussion. Our household was very much a learning household — dinner was an opportunity for the adults to school us in whatever topic was important right then. And I said yes. I told them what I observed and said something like "I think you do it to be nice to people who don't have so much. And other people gave us as much as they could, but it was even harder for them. So Gram, next year, can we give 12 pieces of candy away? And maybe some pennies? I'll give you mine."
From that day to this, I've never forgotten that lesson. We've all had our ups and downs in life, but we never really know what's going on behind the scenes for each person we meet. Which makes it all the more important to treat each other with kindness, respect, and compassion. And be grateful for all our loved ones and friends, and all that is good in our lives.
What does this have to do with art? Our memories influence what moves us. What sticks with us. Memories influence our thoughts, feelings, and actions. Usually unconsciously. I'm sharing my memories with you, so you start to recall your own memories and crystallize them so you can pull out the tidbits that you connect with. Because a piece of art, big or small, regardless of its price, can bring that tidbit back and provide you with great joy. And in today's world, we need more joy.
Happy Halloween!
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